While away, I worried about my cat. Would his neurotic personality unravel during our 37 day absence? Five families took turns feeding him. The grandkids brushed his shaggy coat. He made new friends. It took a village, but he thrived. I fretted, too, about the yard birds. Who would feed them? Not to worry. They … More Organized Chaos
We bought umbrellas. We enjoyed the rain. Mist glazed our cheeks. She wore gloves. I didn’t. We walked. There’s purpose to my wife’s gait; the caregiver. I mosey without focus; the patient. I strive to keep pace. I do, barely. Her will pulls me forward. Along the Willamette, on Waterfront Park, we marvel at the … More How I Spent My Winter Vacation
I’ve been off treatment from my cancer, multiple myeloma, since June. I needed a break. I took the risk. I was walking a tight rope, but I felt good. Subsequent blood labs show a steady progression of the cancer markers. I figured that sometime, around right now, I would have to get back on the … More Back on the Juice
Dry, pumpkin colored fall: the season to gather apples and grapes. Geese congregate before their flight south. Squirrels store food for winter. The whimsy of Halloween collides with bittersweet autumn. I lean into the tenderness of its melancholy contradictions. If we celebrate the harvest, then we must also accept the reckoning. Autumn cushions the fall … More The Last Bouquet
“Sometimes, you don’t know where you are going until you get there.” Anonymous In August my wife and I drove to Manzanita on the Oregon coast. We were accompanied by her sister and brother-in-law. Our mutual objective was to escape the inland heat. Each morning we walked Neahkanie Beach. A haiku of fog shrouded Cape … More Just Coasting Along
“Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment.” Pema Chodron I am a fifteen year veteran of Multiple Myeloma, a blood cancer of plasma cells. The majority of MMers have a life expectancy of around five years at the time of diagnosis. Approximately 20% of patients with this disease persist longer. I’m on the lucky … More The University of Cancer, Part Five
“… since we must always have a suffering world, we must also always have a song” David Budbill It’s said that “a Libra’s purpose is to use its unbiased and fair stance to fight for the practical cause of the world and make it become a better place. They like balance and justice.” Hmm … … More Libra Lullaby
I have a blood cancer, multiple myeloma. It’s not an accident. It’s not bad luck. It’s just life. I adapt to the complications. My skin mottles. Smears of color come and go and return. I admire the abstract tattoos on my hands and forearms. Numbed by drugs and disease and age, my brain and body … More The Indifferent Gardener
“The American male doesn’t mature until he has exhausted all other possibilities.” Wilfred Sheed I had my share of angst about what to be when I grew up. I felt lost and uncertain about the future. I avoided expectations by dropping out. I moved to the mountains. It was the right thing to do, given … More When I Grow Up
It’s the winter of life. Ads for funeral services pepper my mailbox. Mortuaries stalk people my age. The implication, I suppose, is that I don’t have too many decades left. It’s nice to be wanted. Eventually, I’ll buy what they have to sell. But, for now, I’ll wait. There are more songs to write. It’s … More The Winter of Life
Good Blood, Bad Blood 